I swear at least five of my two friends don’t like me
my mum told me that a week before i was born she was having severe contractions and was sent to hospital and they were all ready for me to come out and even gave my her an epidural but then i ‘gave up’ all of a sudden until the following week and that is the story of how i procrastinated my own birth
when you hear someone mention something youre obsessed with
if you catch me on the street listening to my ipod and i do a swift head turn i’m probably in the middle of filming my imaginary music video. do not disturb.
- person: sue, you should try and chug that bottle of wine!
- me: yes, you are right. this sounds like a good idea. i should totally do this.